Eight Years Ago
"Mom!"
"Mom, the results came from headquarters! Did I do well?"
My mother took the paper from my hand and read it for a short while. Then she looked at me and gave me a sincere smile.
"Well done, my son!"
I smiled happily in return at my mother's praise. I was striving in this field for my mother. Her smile, her happiness made me happy. I wanted to be better for her. Whether I succeeded or failed, I wanted to make the figure who always supported me feel good, to make her happy.
"Thank you, Mommy!"
The sincere smile on my face continued.
Seven Years Ago
I had just come out of military training. I let my eyes wander over the adult soldiers around me. I had no friends. This environment was teaching me to give up on my expectations of people, but I hadn't been able to do that. I missed my mother, I missed people, I longed for people. I didn't know why, but I could never completely distance myself from them. I wanted to have friends.
The military area where I trained wasn't a completely asocial place; I could communicate with teachers, commanders, or other soldiers. But I could feel that all relationships outside of my mother were self-serving. When I made a mistake, no one looked me in the face. Even though there was no one here besides my mother who understood me, I missed friends, I longed for people. At the same time, this place had taught me that even love could be transactional.
I returned to my room to see my mother. When I came to her, my mother hugged me tightly. Feeling happy, I hugged her back. I looked at my mother with curious eyes.
"Mom, why don't I have any friends?"
My mother smiled and gently stroked my head.
"The people here aren't the kind of people who can be friends with you, Rei. But don't worry—I'm sure you'll have friends in the future. And remember, your friends are very precious, Rei, okay?"
A case of literary theft: this tale is not rightfully on Amazon; if you see it, report the violation.
I listened carefully to what my mother said.
"Okay, Mom. Friends are precious!"
"Well done, my son."
My mother kept smiling and continued stroking my hair. I felt good.
One Year Ago — Right After My Mother Was Killed
"MOM!"
My mother's body was lying on the ground. She had taken too many bullets—I could tell she was gravely wounded.
"MOM, HOLD ON!"
I held my mother tightly.
"MOM, CAN YOU HEAR ME?"
My mother was gradually closing her eyes; she was growing weak. With eyes about to close, she looked at me, smiling.
"MOM!"
"Rei, never forget this... Always value those who value you... Don't forget your friends..."
I couldn't hold back my tears at my mother's words. After she spoke, her body began to grow lighter, and she closed her eyes completely. I kept holding her tightly.
"MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! CAN YOU HEAR ME? NO!"
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"
Six Months Ago
I'm aware, as I watch them, of how emotional, how irrational, how superficial people are. But I can't break away from them. If connecting to people is dangerous, why can't I leave them? Even though I know I should use them, why don't I completely use and discard them? Why do I still long for them? Why do I want friends? Is it just because my mother told me so? Why am I like this?
Shortly After the Scene of Lie With the Police
I can use her. But I don't just want to use her. At the same time, I want to help her. Why?
After Learning Lie's Past
I could exploit her weakness and make her dependent on me. But I want to help her get her revenge and find relief. Why?
Island Game — Right After Talking With Akari
Being friends with her would be to my advantage. But I don't want her to fall into wrong thinking. I want to help her. I'm going to change my strategy.
After the Island Game — Before Going to the Village to Talk With Haru
I'm certain he has the same past as us. He's close with Akari. I want to help him.
Religious Friendship Game — Shortly After Seeing the Bodies
Should I make a strategy where I eliminate myself and everyone else? I don't want anything to happen to my friends. These men are dangerous. I don't care what happens to me—I'm worried about them. I'll do everything myself; they don't need to do anything. Or I'll make sure everyone withdraws from this game. I'm worried about them...
Now — Elf Village
I had been staring at the sky, lost in thought for a while. Haru saw me looking up without pause.
"What are you looking at, Rei?"
I kept looking at the sky with an indifferent expression.
"Nothing."